How many Peckers in One Dick?
One must understand the complexities of HTML parsing (code-writing)...one must also understand that a system of "standards" is a system that is bound to change as people decide upon other "standards", thereby "destandardizing" these "standards", or that these "standards" are often illogical and fairly idiotic, as in my story.In my web design class, we have learned many things from various border manipulation, to table nesting, to fucking with font, and THIS is where my story shall begin. Last week, I sat next to Tinicia as I always do, and Mrs. Oden was ranting on HTML tags as she always does, and then she moved to a new topic - the two subsets of font size manipulation, which were to be "absolute" and "relative". Absolute would then be defined as those measurements such as points or inches, and relative as those like percentages, pixels, and a strange unit called "ems". The em is a relative measurement that calculates the height of the surrounding font based on the width and height of the letter "m" in that particular font...at this, my diaphragm contorted in a fit of disbelief and mental unrest. I couldn't help but to think "what type of completely fucked feeble mind felt that such a retardedly inept and backwardly asinine measurement should be accepted into being a "standard" and then actually gaining popularity and us having to cope with that tartiness?!!!" So, in continuance of my mental unrest, I cocked my head right to face Tinicia and said, "You know, that's about as retarded as me going around and, say, measuring everything by the size of my dick...hell, that keyboard has to be about two and a half dicks, right?! That's DKs for short." Of course, she laughed, in that particularly curt and pronounced way she always does, and I discovered THE story that I would be reiterating for the rest of the day...sure enough, I did, and everyone in contact with such my ludicrousity felt the same - "ems" was just as fucked over as "dicks". Today, after a brief mental hiatus from this funny event, I remembered it and delineated it to my parents over dinner. After this, my dad would suggest that there were exactly two and one fourth peckers to one dick...and that's how the American Imperial System of Measurement got started.
posted by Zaevodnik @ 22:51
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