Z|301

Luciferistic Chair

Yes, you heard right. Not satanic, rather Luciferistic. It just so happened that a set of dark red-seated and backed chairs were pissing me off yesterday. One chair in particular was giving me a particularly rough time. It's definitely not that I have a phobia of chairs or something bizzare like that, but when I slid the round table around in study hall in the cafeteria to get the table's legs away from mine, it caught a chair to my left and dragged (woops...almost said "drug") it close to me where it crossed my electromagnecic field and into my space, therefore violating and taunting me so as it were possesed. I pushed the chair back. Still not right. I tried arranging it in different positions: back toward me, away from me, angled from me...none would do. Finally distraught enough, I kicked the fucker to the next table over. A small smile overtook my despaired facial expressions over the direct taunting of that chair. Sarah Grove entered study hall and sat down at the table. Pissed, I said, "You missed my violent harrassment of that chair..." pointing to the one that had been the object of my violation. "...It's Luciferistic." An expression of total insanity doused her mouth and lips as she said "Luciferistic?!". I replied, "That's right, it's a Luciferistic-Nazi-ass-bastard-of-a-bitch chair.

posted by Zaevodnik @ 17:16